sometimes i feel like I'm being used, when my suppose to be called 'Friends' have no one else to hang around with.
like i just know they are bitching about me behind my back, so like do i say something or just let it go on?
this isn't the first time to happen, but when i say something it always ends up to be my fault, so i never win, so what is the point.
all people are going to do is throw the friendship i offer back in my face, so really to think of it i only have a few people, that i can trust and they trust me.
its nicer to have few close friends instead of many other immature ones. its cool to have a little group that we can all just chill out and talk, instead of keeping it all to yourself and not being able to share it with someone purely because you don't know if you can trust them.
but through this year my friends have prove to me and have stuck by me through my darkest moments this year so i love them to pieces.
and now I'm finally happy, and we just enjoy every moment we get. i guess that's what friends are for right!?
PS. this is me and my best friend at Prom in July, I'm on the Left and My Best Friend is on the right.
Do you ever feel like your life is trying to be planned out for you?
Its come to my attention in my life at this moment for me trying to figure out what i want to do when i leave school, i have two more years, but have no idea what i want to be or do.
Do i go to University? Do i take a Gap Year, Go Travel and then go to University a year later? or do i go get a full time job and never really know what i want to do?
But lately i feel like my family are trying to pressure me into going into Uni and study courses i don't want to study, it feels like I'm being forced, and i don't want to do it. If i did go to University it would make me the first of my generation of kids in my family to be going as my cousins didn't get high enough grades or choose not to go. so there is a lot of pressure for me and i have absolutely NO IDEA what or who i want to be.
Do i go down the creative route and do something with my photography what I'm good at and really enjoy? or do i go down the business route like my family want me to and get stuck in an office with a boring routine of working 9 to 5?
I have no idea and do not think at the age of 16 think that anybody my age would be able to figure who they wont to be, i have wanted to be a lot of things but always grew out of them or discovered that i didn't have the skills or grades to be able to do it.
So like i was saying I have two years to discover myself and see what i want and to grow up. You may think that 2 years is nothing but if you think of it 2012 has flown past and i will have to start looking at Universities and be choosing courses before i apply next winter.
I'm growing up to fast and wish time would slow down so i can figure out who i am and who i want to be but life isn't like that, you have to catch up and keep working to you get your goals.
